TheGapYear

Soo... it's been a while since my last update.

I have to admit that the stay in Poland was wonderful. I got the licence (check!), stayed at my grandparents for about a month (check!), I actually went down to my dream weight +3kg sticking to my lovely diet, which was also wonderful, and I've got compliments from everyone about how much better I looked... It wasn't always nice, because it confirmed my fears of other people's awareness of my looks. Ergo i heard compliments which kept me motivated in my diet etc, but at the same time it made me sad that people never saw me as attractive before. You know, the typical girl-problems. Even when it gets better you still see the negative side.

The problems begun as the rest of my family got to Białystok. There was simply speaking no room in the kitchen, and at the same time they were being spoiled with lovely foods. I started to eat candy, and slowly I had to lie to myself about how 1kg more was only 1kg, and the next kilo was only because I was wearing a thicker sweater... the diet was so restricted in the calories that any extra ones got stuck almost at once. When I got back to Sweden I continued the diet for some time, but I lost all the motivation that came from the change of environment which I to begin with have had in Poland. Also, I came much closer to my family, and it was even harder to leave them this time, not to mention how hard it was for them.

Back in Sweden I got into Friskis & Svettis, and for the first two weeks I went nearly every day. This was though too much for me; at the last exercise I could barely move. I needed rest. This, combined with the fact that I got a quite stressful and physically tiring job made me step away from exercise (although I was dancing once a week, jazz) and led to me putting on weight. So now I am back at my “normal” weight. But this, I’ve decided, has to end. Damn Jo-jo effect.

Today, I am 2 weeks pescetarian. It is not really working out as I still eat carbohydrates, and I have to cut back on it… Yesterday was fine, I was determined to go and buy some candy, but instead went to the forest and hung out with some of my scout-friends. (Yes, you can find scouts in any forest near a larger town.) When I got back home I felt like fruits would be enough sugar.

I have also decided what I want to be. I want to be a vet. And I don’t really care that I won’t have as much money as I could have as a regular doctor -  I was prepared to spend thousands of SEK to go abroad and clean up animal poop, why don’t make it a thing which will be profitable instead?

I have also gotten myself a job, as event personnel (like a hostess) and also as a substitute teacher at my previous school in Katrineholm. I do not work full time, only a few times a week, and the pay is not too high. I make around 200kr/ day when we delete all the costs. The substitute teacher thing is much more profitable, given that I get a full day employment and not only one or two lessons. My dream of paying off my voluntary trip and the Explorer Belt by myself gets more and more doubtful for each day. Hopefully I can get a better job soon, or at least more employment so that I can save up at least some money… for the last three years I’ve spent more than 10 000 SEK on train tickets, which is wicked, and I am spending even more now when I regularly go to Stockholm to work.

I will also be doing retakes in two subjects, chemistry and mathematics. I want to improve my 4 in maths to at least a 5, hopefully 6, and the 5 in chemistry to a 6 (7 in my dreams). A better grade in Chemistry is required for me to get into a good vet university in Poland (SGGW, Szkoła Główna Gospodarstwa Wiejskiego…) or Finland perhaps? Helsinki university is top 100 of the world!

Enough for today. I have to study History of Polish Literature.

Ciao.